look no pants
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
I just discovered I can sober up while teaching class
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize
