why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
'valentine' just autocorrected to 'cake robe' in my phone
I think that summarizes my life up pretty accurately
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Randomize
