no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
So apparently I shook her hand very polite, said weiner and walked away
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
Honestly I really just want to do you in the mail truck. Thought about it a lot today
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
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