Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
It looks like someone bombed the living room with his and your clothes, bra, packing peanuts, nerf gun and ammo, rc helicopter, leftover chinese food and a leather paddle.
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Dick very happy bro
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
