Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
there was this guy running across campus barefoot in the pouring rain stepping in all the puddles. i want his life. and i want to be stripper.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
He gave up on mugging us when Dave wouldn't stop laughing. He was wiggling his finger at the knife and making baby noises and giggling. The guy just walked away.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
