Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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