I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
smell my finger.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
Randomize
