i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please don't tell me that blonde guys name is Matthew I won't be able to fuck a guy with my brothers name
Before you started puking your brains out, you took a moment to give me the correct order of the Harry potter series
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
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