Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
I hope he says my name when they're having anniversary sex this weekend.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Nope. I'm an adult now. I can successfully avoid to vomit in defiance of the porcelain god\n
Randomize
