im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I make one hell of a fire on Ambien. Other life choices not so much. But fire. Fire I can do.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
I'm in Florida in a retirement community the fuck am I supposed to do but watch tv and disgrace Jesus
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
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