White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Tim and I found you a 5ish and asked how you were doing with the breakup. All you said was "i can't words"
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
