i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
Hooked up with 8 guys, puked 4 times, got a few bruises, and my face is still numb... I think this visit has truly impacted my college decision
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Nope. Daytime is texting time. Night time is you send me naked pictures time.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I think it's time for tequila and I to go our separate ways
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Randomize
