I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
Did you leave ur panties in the sink?
Kitchen or bathroom?
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
