I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
I had a dream last night that Anthony Bourdain gave me a vibrator.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I don't want to hear about you making out with a high schooler. I just had the best sex of my life. My face and arms went numb in the middle of it.
My sister was not impressed when she got here. I was standing in the doorway in my underwear drinking a beer. At 2pm. On a Monday.
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I am all the way hung over and want nothing more in this world than a McMuffin. Happy day after Thanksgiving.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
