My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
As shirtless as possible
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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