He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
He cut you off when you said Paula Dean was in your soul...He kicked you out when "Paula" started eating random peoples food
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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