: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
Do you ever feel like your dog agrees with you? Like REALLY really agrees.
Holy hangover, going dancing with family good idea, taking the last shot with the transvestite bar owner not so much...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
I got horny for like a second but the eggplant snapped me out of it
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
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