end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I'm at a free clinic. Feel like I should cough or sneeze so it's not blatantly obvious I'm getting checked for STI's.
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
Dude, you stalking his LINKEDIN profile will NOT affect your chances with him. We aren't 40...
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Randomize
