Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
No more. You can't have nice things, and vodka is a nice thing.
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
