ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
After this weekend, all I can think about is bald eagles flying in front of fireworks and giving birth to fucking uncle sam. Also, beer.
Randomize
