OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Why can't I hire someone to teach me how to be a decent human being?
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
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