I am a bulletproof tiger!
Haha. Nice, be careful tonight.
I'm gonna have to get my windshield replaced. Is the keg beat?
I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I told my dad that he was in a band and he was all like " good job" and then he looked up the band and listened to their music and just went " oh have you disappointed me"
I should not be able to sum up my life with a taco brand motto...
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
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