dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
Operation Purity has been aborted
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
she laid there and continued moaning loudly for like 10 minutes after we were done, just so that her mom would be jealous
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
