He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
you thought that fire hydrant was a midget...you gave it a hug and asked for a lollipop.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
