I'm not a mortal combat character
but my vagina is
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
You know you're a nerd when you lose track of how many times you've gotten turned on watching Glee.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
Randomize
