I don't think ill make it tonight the floor wont let me walk
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Everytime I cough, my tampon falls out a little bit. Does this mean I'm loose?
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
He had to carry me to the car. But then sat with me and waited for me to sober up enough to have sex. He's a keeper.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
But if you move out who will get drunk with me on the roof and yell at boys?!?
Actually new year, new me. I haven’t had sex yet so technically I’ve been a virgin all year.
Randomize
