Jake just asked if thanksgiving was an american thing...I left the table
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
At a bar across from the city police station. I PROMISE I will do something great.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
He said he loved me more than Kel loves orange soda
the result of growing up in the '90's
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
