Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
Can Purell be used as lube?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
my secret santa just gave me a pregency test
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
Randomize
