So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
one of the cashiers from Kroger is eating at my kitchen table and nobody knows why.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Yeah then she waddled like a duck in silence sat down and ate the entire paper towel roll.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
I hope you have your own chainsaw cause I didn’t buy one for you. It was a gross oversight on my part
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