Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
it glows. i had to have it.
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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