I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
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