I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
Randomize
