I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
I love having hate sex.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
