I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Honestly the war on drugs is dumb and you can just sleep in my bed which is mega comfortable anytime you want. There I said it
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
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