There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
I hope you fall in a pool of honey in an immensely populated region of bears.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
My mom just walked in and she was like "Who ate all of the cheese?" and all I could think of was you trying to become a human taco
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Well, I was giving him a handy and I sighed in boredom. He heard. I had to fake moaning sounds after he asked if I sighed.
Randomize
