so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
