can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
I am so stoned. And there are so many white people in this Jack in the Box.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
Sitting in the dr office she literally looked at my throat and goes have you been having oral intercourse
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