You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
It's amazing
I want to run hundreds of miles and do a whole semesters worth of homework while flying on a unicorn and throwing endless glitter bombs
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Randomize
