flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
They put me in charge of something. Why the fuck would you look at me and put me in charge of something while i'm double fisting peach mimosas at a baby shower
I really hope your new roommate never finds out we had a threesome with a bisexual British guy in his room the night before he moved in.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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