Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
Umm you don't wanna know how many "I'm sorry for calling you last night" fb wallposts I just had to write...
You know you're on day 1 of your period when the new mcdonalds commercial makes you cry
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Randomize
