I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Dude i'm seriously thinking about his nipples.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
Come on, without my personality, I'm a pretty good one night stand.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
