well you can't waste a boner
It is obvious to me now why clam chowder & beer aren't a good combo.
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
Also, drinking coors light. Fuck that. Fuck that in the fucking face.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
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