Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
Randomize
