im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
I got lit on fire and andy went to jail last night. Totally unrelated incidents though.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
Serious question: when you had my right nipple in your mouth, did my nipple ring have both of the balls on it, or was it missing one. Current situation: missing one.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
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