You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
No I'm not proud of you for not sleeping with him. He has herpes. You don't get a gold star for behaving how you're expected to. Trust me. I'm a teacher.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
when ur drunk laser tag is all fun n games. try it high and all of the aliens in the galaxy want you dead.
Randomize
