hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
I face planted right in front of a cop. He looked at me, shook his head, mumbled "freshman" under his breath, helped me up and told us to get home safely. I love college.
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
You were giving me all the reasons why being the big spoon is such a responsibility, and how you wish you were a girl cause the little spoon does nothing
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
Randomize
