I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
Randomize
