there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
low key just jizzed in a chinese food container
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
