I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Male strippers are involved. You are coming
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I no longer exist. I have transformed into a puddle of sex.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I was sending him tit pics while watching how to train your dragon 2. It was everything.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
