so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
What I thought it would be sexy pouring melted chocolate down here chest, ended up in second degree burns. Hot food and sex do not mix.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Did you take the full box of samoas or do I not remember getting baked and eating half a box by myself?
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
Randomize
