you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
He’s got a big dick and a big ego. This could be fun
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