How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
MY DINNER LAST NIGHT CONSISTED OF SEMEN AND A PROTEIN SHAKE... MY TRAINER WOULD BE PROUD I DIDN'T HAVE CARBS!
Randomize
