Hey man sorry I got all grabby
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
17 year olds will be the death of me.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
