my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
My parents are coming to visit the 28th. How bad is it that I put a reminder in my phone to "hide sex toys"?
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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