Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I think I found my soulmate. This guy in front of me is yelling about getting laid while holding two beers and texting. I think this is love.
i'm writing my speech about my 4th grade backstreet boy concert experience. that sums up how seriously i take my life.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
I just told my mother my "if there are drugs I'm only taking them if I don't have to pay" rule and witnessed her perception of my shatter and crumble behind her eyes.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
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