You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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