We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Randomize
